“What if I fall? Oh,but my darling,what if you fly?”
And I flew. Sorta. At least I always knew how to deal with some turbulences.
After quite some time, after beginning my work as a graphic designer, I realized what it really meant to work 40h a week. I already have thought I haven't got much freetime even if I simply took
my time for drawing, gaming and much more I desired to do, but know I felt to be thrown in at the deep end.
some of you were wondering how my life was lately. What has changed during my long absence, which definitely will last, unfortunately.
1st of October I started my work in an international tools factory as a graphic designer and I really like it. My colleagues are friendly and my job is well paid plus I have 10 days more vaction than statutory which is really nice.
As I was a apprentice for the last 3 years and a scholar the 12 previous, starting to work really was a huge change for me, like probably for lots of You too. Not only that I had to acclimatize again
I had to move into a little town deep in the black forest in order not to drive one hour to the factory (which was a pain in the ass for the first week cuz of all those mountain roads).
So, being a creature of habit, the time up to now was exhausting, surprising, eye-opening, frightening but also wonderful. To cath up on the quote, I fell lots of times, sat alone on my couch, crying because I felt so alone but I sorta knew how to stand above the situation. My family and my boyfriend were and are a wonderful support and I realized how much I actually need them. How I took them for granted. And they always gave me a lift.
Sadly I haven't got much time to draw. Neither to write. After working I just threw myself onto the couch and watched TV, maybe played Guild Wars or read some fanfictions.
Until now. Those (almost) three months took all my time and thoughts (lel I never realized what a bunch of things you have to do when moving to another place... exhausting shit..). But it feels like I finally reached a point at which I can dare
to adjourn things. Something which was impossible for the last few months.
I finally started to draw again, well sketch at least. I returned to writing a bit on my novel and writing down even more concepts for it and I feel relieved now. And I look forward to finally get a little kitten! I really really look forward to not be alone anymore when my family or boyfriend aren't visiting me. As I had cats in my life since I was 3 years old I felt the need to own one again.
I suppose lots of you know my feelings too well. Maybe you had a bad start in a job or got problems during moving or even afterwards. I really took everything around me for granted. Actually I really don't know where this journal entry should result in. What the message of this should be.
I just feel like to write down my latest thoughts and maybe this is a nice place where my thoughts may be heard. Maybe the journal title sounds a bit pessimistic and sometimes my thoughts are it. But I got myself a 'motivation-wall' and the quote above is on one of three postcards I framed. I see those cards every day and with every look on them I feel relieved in every situation I am in at this time.
And I finally
have realized, that indeed I am happy. Even if I sit alone on the couch each evening, even if I know my novel will take me a hundred years to finish and even if I am not satisfied with my art lately. Maybe this is a message this journal could result in. I realized that, concerning art, I always felt the need to draw for others, for the community. And now after a hiatus on drawing, since I started sketching again and not
publishing most of it, I really feel relieved.
Ugh I talk alot, too much, and I reached a point at which I really would like to just press the little X in my browser window to just delete this journal entry. I don't know if you will read this, or not. You don't have to comment or such but feel free to do so. Maybe writing this down was a waste of time but as I, for myself, like to read life-update-journals of fellow artists (even if I'm too lazy to comment, sorry! (that's why I don't expect comments)) I felt like writing a bit about how my life was the past few months. Maybe some of you are also interested in such journals from time to time.
All in all, it was busy. And it is busy. And will be busy, huuugh... But as I got back to drawing again I hope to be able to post a bit. I have lots of pictures in my work-in-progress-folder which are desperately waiting to be finished.
Nonetheless thanks for reading! Feel free to comment (well I for myself have no idea what I should comment to this xD). Apart of this I would like to hear your experiences concerning moving to the first own flat, your first work experiences and how you dealt with the new
life. And never forget, don't take your surroundings, especially your family, for granted!
Over and out!